San Antonio Barbie Collector Editions

“ Alamo Heights ”
This princess Barbie is sold only at North Star Mall.  She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house.  Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.  Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

“ Shavano Park Barbie”
The Modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit.  You can buy children for Shavano Park Barbie, but they only come in packs of 3 or more.  She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.  Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

“The Dominion Barbie”
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.  Included are her own Starbucks up, credit card, and country club membership.  Also available for this set are Code Monkey Ken and Private School Skipper.  You won’t be able to afford any of them.  Sold only at The Shops at La Cantera.

“ Universal City Barbie”
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder.  She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set.  She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullett-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk.  Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sicker absolutely free.

“China Grove Barbie”
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of her trailer house.  Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top.

“78229 Barbie”
This doll is made of actual tofu.  She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstock with white socks.  She prefers that you call her Willow .  She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two 78229 Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

“South-Side San Antonio Barbie”
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll.  Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass.  Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

“ Main Street Barbie / Ken”
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.